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23.06.2016 - klmn3931 (请填写你的网址)
1、儿子和父亲在路上散步,迎面跑过来一头牛,儿子十分害怕。
父亲说,“别怕,这是牛,你不是常吃它的肉吗?”
儿子:“是的,可这牛还没煮熟呀!”

2、老师为了向学生证明吸烟的害处,特意把从香烟中提取的尼古丁放在虫子身上,不一会儿虫子就死了。老师接着问大家:“你们看,这个实验说明了什么?”
同学们异口同声地回答:“抽烟肚子里不长虫子”。

3、幼儿园,一男两女三个孩子玩过家家。
男孩说:“我要当爸爸”,一女孩说“我要当妈妈”
剩下的那个女孩说“那...那我只好当小三了”

4、父亲看了儿子的成绩册,生气地问道:“为什么你的算术只得了一分?”
儿子回答说:“老师大概没有更多的分了。”

5、老师:“小明,你上课又讲话,到教室外面罚站去!”
小明同桌:“老师,我也出去和小强一起罚站可以吗?”
老师:“你又没有讲话,为什么要罚站啊?”
小明同桌:“他还没有把笑话讲完呢!”

23.06.2016 - defg9007 (多个可以用逗号或者竖线分隔)
1、男人带女友逛商场,女友看中了一支口红,男人嫌贵,就说:“你不涂口红更好看,这叫自然美。”
女友大为不满,说:“幸好我没让你买衣服,不然你一定会说我不穿衣服更好看,那叫人体美。”

2、男友不敢当面向他的女友求婚,只得在电话上作远程试探。
“亲爱的,今天我彩票中了五百万,你答应嫁给我吗?”
“当然了,你谁呀?”

3、女友穿了一款紧身胸衣,在我面前走来走去。
我知道怎么回事,我故意不理她。
终于她忍不做了,说:“好看吗?”
我说:“好看。”
“喜欢吗?”
“不喜欢。”
“什么?”女友柳眉倒竖。
“脱起来太麻烦。”

4、在动物园的水池边,一个小伙子挽着姑娘的手,说:“让我们像对鸳鸯一样,永远生活在一起好吗?”姑娘不无遗憾地答道:“好是好,可我还没学会游泳呢!”

5、两男生同时向一女生表白,女生淡定道:“你们周游世界后再回来跟我说。”
一男生立马收拾包裹准备出发。
另一男生绕女生转了一圈,说出历史性的一句:“你就是我的世界。”

6、上帝为了打动情人的芳心说:嫁给我吧!那样我们的后代都是神的子女。

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